OK, so I’ve not been on here for quite some time now. I kept thinking of things I’d like to post, but never got round to it. This makes me sound like I’ve been super busy, non-stop, without a moment to spare to blog about something interesting. Well, the truth is, I’ve not been busy, I’ve been damn lazy. Over the past month I’ve had a lot of time to think, a lot of my life has changed and now my life is into its next chapter, and it seems this chapter is titled 'overthink everything in your life and have no fun'. I graduated, with the actual hat and robe (my mum keeps reminding me it's called a 'cap' and gown), that was actually an incredible day, my mum and dad were there and seemed proud and my size 8 dress fitted so I was proud too. Although I graduated with a lower level than I would of liked, so a huge disappointed is constantly on my mind. I have also had my hours at work cut, due to getting a lovely new manager we are now overstaffed. So my life consists of barely 12 hours at work a week. Therefore I’m lacking huge amounts of money to do anything and have become a bit of a social recluse. Although some friends are willing just to pop round for a cuppa tea or a drink in the garden, so I still am being a tiny bit social, but constantly saying no to nights out or shopping trips is making my life a less lot fun. The whole overthinking thing has come about from realising I’m growing up, people are moving on and life changes, sometimes without me even realising. It just happened, out of nowhere and then was thrown in my face like a kick in the teeth. I like to think I’m a nice girl; I'd do anything for my friends, from being a taxi at 3am after they've had a heavy night out or being a shoulder to cry on if they aren’t feeling their best. My friends mean the world to me. As long as they are happy, I’m happy. But, I am seriously contemplating having the word MUG tattooed across my forehead. Lately I feel like I have been taken for granted and sometimes I’m a friend, sometimes more than a friend and sometimes I’m a complete stranger. This has caused me to overthink EVERYTHING, a simple text to a face to face (extremely awkward and stomach turning) conversation. Or in most cases the complete lack of communication. The worst part is that they seem completely oblivious to the hurt this situation has created. The old saying nice guys finish last may be completely true, but in my case it seems, nice girls never even get a chance to be in the race...
Life has all of a sudden got hard.
