Thursday, May 16, 2013

Weddings vs Marriage

My parents have been married for 34 years (give or take a year). They have had 5 children. A house. Numerous pets. We've had arguments. Graduations. Heartbreaks. Weddings. Deaths. Births. We've had it all. But we have had it as a family. And I can honestly say I would not be who I am today without my parents.

My parents are my heroes. The two people that I look up to. They have been happily married for, what seems to me, forever.

I know I'm extremely lucky. I see my parents everyday, I have never had to see them get divorced and they are both healthy and happy. I have no half or step or distance siblings. I am a fully fledged Essex and we stick together.

It may be the celebrity world and bombarding media reports and images that have made me think of this, but it seems to be that a huge amount of people want a wedding but not a marriage. It's a bit like the Friends episode, where Monica wants a beautiful dress and big event, but Chandler want's a home, kids and a little kitty with a bell on its collar (Monica wants a dog, standard married life issue...pets). The amount of money spent on weddings is ridiculous, the cake the dress, the venue, the photographs, the food. I'd rather save that money and buy a house...a home. I hate to judge, but it is usually woman that go crazy and want the 'perfect' day full of attention and compliments. That is my worst nightmare.
 
I think the problem is, so many people want a wedding day, rather than a married life. They forget that they should marry for love and to spend the future together. A marriage isn't just an excuse for a big party and a pretty dress. Maybe that is why so many marriages end in divorce, people forget to look at the bigger picture, the future that they will spend together. There will be tough times, bills to pay, disagreements, money worries, time constraints, children screaming at 3am. The honeymoon period cannot last forever. But the love should.

That is why, when I am ready. When I fall in love. I want a marriage, not a wedding.

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