Sunday, October 21, 2012

GYM GOERS (and a few rules)


I go to the gym a lot. No I’m not that skinny bitch everyone hates, I'm the one sweating away bright red face and breathing as if I’m having a heart attack. But I go a lot, so in the future I’ll look like that skinny bitch and won't be such a mess at the gym. I love the gym, it's somewhere to escape to, to think, to relax. Yes the gym is relaxing. I've been going to the gym for about a year now, usually 5 days a week. I'm not where I want to be, but I’m making progress and at least I’m doing something, not just complaining that I want to look a certain way but just sitting on the sofa eating a burger.

Since I go to the gym a lot I see a lot of people there. I've realised there are 5 types of gym goers:
THE EXTREMES: these people are the ones everyone is aspiring to be, males will have amazing arms and abs that you only thought was possible by airbrushing. The females of this group tend to have abs of steel and never seem to have a bit of sweat on them.
THE POSERS: closely linked to the extremes as they tend to have good bodies. However I rarely see them doing anything but looking in the mirrors or sorting their hair out. The males tend to spend 1 minute lifting weights and then 10 minutes looking at themselves in the mirror, sometimes adding a little stretch or a reveal of the stomach. The females of this group tend to be complete 'girls', usually in a group of 2 or more, they believe the gym is a catwalk and only wear the best designer fashioned gym clothes, yet do little in it. They come with a face full of makeup and sit on the bike on level one gossiping.
THE GET ME FIT: Most people fit into this type, probably myself included, this is the average gym goer, actually works hard at the gym, sweat dripping off the face and heavy breathing, but completely committed to getting fit and trying hard. These are the people I respect the most at the gym and would never judge.
THE LAZY ONE: This is aimed at one older lady in particular; however I’m sure there’s a lot like her. She is paying a membership, buys a new gym kit, arrives at the gym, and believes she is doing something good for an hour, however she sits on the bike (not moving her legs) and watches one of the large TVs for a good hour. Just because you are at the gym it doesn’t mean you don’t have to do anything. Sometimes I wish I could shake her and tell her to just do a little something each time, it really frustrates me.
THE UNACCEPABLE GYM GOER: this is particularly aimed at those who wear unusual or unacceptable clothes to the gym. I normally tweet a remark of these people with the hash tag #gymfashion I in no way believe the gym is a fashion parade. But a jumper and collared shirt is not suitable. I've also seen a man in jeans, another in a plaid shirt (twice) and another in a shirt that he'd clearly left work in. I think it's important to wear sensible clothing for the gym, it doesn’t have to be the latest Nike (I may add here that I am a walking advert for Nike, the dri-fit clothing is amazing), but trainers and shorts will do. Another unacceptable gym goer is the over sweaty and smelly man that decided to get on the machine next to me the other day. I'm all up for a bit of sweat (as long as you wipe the machine down afterwards), sweat shows you've worked hard. But this man was far too over the line, I could taste it. Gagging and running is not a good look.

I love the gym. I love that people use gyms to get fit and healthy. But I think a few people need to learn that it's not a catwalk, a TV viewing room or a mirrored wall for your vain appearance.

I can no way get off lightly; I’m so clumsy in life that this habit often joins me at the gym, with me dropping my iPhone at least once on every gym occasion. I have my music on so loud that everyone near me can hear it. I know every word to every song on my gym playlist and therefore believe it is acceptable to sing or mime along with the song. I realise it is not acceptable. I also often tweet at the gym, this is annoying, and it looks like I’m not working hard enough. But I just can’t resist tweeting about the latest #gymfashion I’ve seen.

The gym is a place for a vast amount of people; they are all there for a reason. Some just work harder at achieving their goals...others prefer to watch sky sports news or themselves in a mirror, in their jeans and plaid shirt. #gym

I wish. I want. I act.


I wish for quite a lot of things. Things for myself, like money, clothes and shoes mostly. Selfish, I know. However lately I've been wishing for other things, like that I could stop worrying about everyone else and hoping my phone would buzz with that text I desperately want or I could escape from here for a while. Mainly I've been wishing for a well-paid full time job, so I can stop selfishly wishing for the materialistic items. I know a lot of people wish, some people call it praying, others call it hoping. It's nice to have a little faith that one day the world will give you a favour. But as much as I wish for these things and no matter how desperately I want anything in my life, it's pretty useless if I’m not willing to put in a bit of hard labour and do something about it. Wishing, wanting and doing are completely different actions. And let's be honest, actions are what make the world go round. So I’ve now decided whilst it's nice to dream of those perfect shoes in my size or that dress that would look amazing for that night out, it's hopeless if I’m not willing to do something about it. I've learnt this by going to the gym. I wish I could have the body of a supermodel, but I know I can wish all I want and eat a burger and it's not going to happen. I know I have to eat healthy and hit the gym and sweat like crazy and hurt like hell to get where I want to be. So it's about time I put that into practice in all other aspects of my life. First thing to act upon is to get a job. LET'S GET TO IT.

Monday, August 20, 2012

It's been a while...


OK, so I’ve not been on here for quite some time now. I kept thinking of things I’d like to post, but never got round to it. This makes me sound like I’ve been super busy, non-stop, without a moment to spare to blog about something interesting. Well, the truth is, I’ve not been busy, I’ve been damn lazy. Over the past month I’ve had a lot of time to think, a lot of my life has changed and now my life is into its next chapter, and it seems this chapter is titled 'overthink everything in your life and have no fun'. I graduated, with the actual hat and robe (my mum keeps reminding me it's called a 'cap' and gown), that was actually an incredible day, my mum and dad were there and seemed proud and my size 8 dress fitted so I was proud too. Although I graduated with a lower level than I would of liked, so a huge disappointed is constantly on my mind. I have also had my hours at work cut, due to getting a lovely new manager we are now overstaffed. So my life consists of barely 12 hours at work a week. Therefore I’m lacking huge amounts of money to do anything and have become a bit of a social recluse. Although some friends are willing just to pop round for a cuppa tea or a drink in the garden, so I still am being a tiny bit social, but constantly saying no to nights out or shopping trips is making my life a less lot fun. The whole overthinking thing has come about from realising I’m growing up, people are moving on and life changes, sometimes without me even realising. It just happened, out of nowhere and then was thrown in my face like a kick in the teeth. I like to think I’m a nice girl; I'd do anything for my friends, from being a taxi at 3am after they've had a heavy night out or being a shoulder to cry on if they aren’t feeling their best. My friends mean the world to me. As long as they are happy, I’m happy. But, I am seriously contemplating having the word MUG tattooed across my forehead. Lately I feel like I have been taken for granted and sometimes I’m a friend, sometimes more than a friend and sometimes I’m a complete stranger. This has caused me to overthink EVERYTHING, a simple text to a face to face (extremely awkward and stomach turning) conversation. Or in most cases the complete lack of communication. The worst part is that they seem completely oblivious to the hurt this situation has created. The old saying nice guys finish last may be completely true, but in my case it seems, nice girls never even get a chance to be in the race...

Life has all of a sudden got hard.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

No Diving (and other pool rules)


I love swimming, since I learnt to swim aged 9 (?) I cannot get enough of it. I joined a gym a year ago and spent most of my time in the pool over the summer. Then it got cold and started snowing and getting into a cold pool somehow lost its appeal. Ok, swimming is basically having a bath with a group of strangers in barely any clothes hiding your dignity, but I always manage to put that to the back of my mind and the half an hour shower afterwards also helps scrub away that feeling of old hairy men sharing 'my' pool. Swimming is so relaxing, I can think about everything and anything and I can push myself to work harder, I always count the amount of lengths I do, and this always has to be a multiple of 10 (it's just one of those annoying OCD habits everyone has). With the sun shining this week and a sudden hit of fitness motivation I got the bikini out and headed to the gym pool, but I noticed some changes that must be made.

All pools have rules, the standard no running, no diving and children must be with an adult. However I have come up with some new rules that should be applied:

1) Girls it's ok to get your hair wet & there's more to swimming than just breast stroke.
Every female I saw in the pool seemed to be afraid to get their hair wet; I'm guessing this is why they choose to swim only at a very slow speed of breast stroke. I realise chlorine is not so great for the hair, but why go swimming if you are afraid to get your hair wet?!


2) Public displays of affection in the pool are never ever acceptable.
I saw a couple obviously madly in love (that's great), but please I do not want to see these displays of love, especially in a public pool.

3) It is not ok for an unattractive male to try and start a conversation in the public showers.

Or anyone to start a conversation in the showers for that matter. It's embarrassing enough that I'm stood in not much more than underwear so trying to start a conversation or small talk is way over the line and makes an uncomfortable situation a lot worse.

4) Don't kick so much, it splashes people in the face.

I love the enthusiasm. But please I would prefer the water to stay in the pool and not in my face.

5) Know your speed; most of you in the medium lane should be in the slow lane.
I'm in no way an Olympic swimmer, but I feel thee medium speed lane is suitable for my ability and stamina of swimming. However I feel others should reassess their lane choice, if people are trying to overtake you constantly; you are too slow for the medium lane.

6) Standing at the end of the pool for 30 minutes talking to a friend does not count as swimming.
I love to chat to my friends, but there's a time and a place. Do not stand at the edge of the pool, blocking the steps and walls in order to talk to your friends. You should sit in the coffee shop or maybe the sauna or steam room if you want to say 'I've been to the gym'. Talking is not a work out, if you are at the gym, do some work.

7) Don't try to race me, I'll win.

One middle aged man made eye contact with me and then shot off to race me. This was a silly idea on his behalf, I won. However I like to be on my own when I swim, my only competition is myself.

8) Invest in sensible swimwear.
This is aimed at myself as well as all those middle aged, out of shape, hairy men sporting Speedos. It had been a while since I'd last got into a pool and I hadn't realised my bikini may be slightly too big, until it was too late and I had a few wardrobe malfunctions and a lot of readjusting under the water. Time to go shopping...

Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Trials and Triumphs of a Hollywood Star: Rita Hayworth

This is a piece of work submitted in my first year of my degree, in Film, Photography and Video. In the style of a newspaper article in 1946 about the Hollywood star Rita Hayworth.

The Trials and Triumphs of a Hollywood Star
Rita Hayworth
Wednesday 20th Feb 1946
With Charles Vidor’s latest film hitting the big screen, it won’t be long before we hear of the great success and it travels over to the UK. But who is ‘Gilda’? and what is the story behind Rita Hayworth, the incredible actress who brings Gilda to life? I was lucky enough to see the US premier on the 14th of this month and previously have a brief chat with Rita herself on set, where I discovered the true star and how she became so talented.
Margarita Carmen Cansino was born in Brooklyn New York on the 17th October 1918, into a showbiz family that eventually started to form and mould her lifestyle and career at a very young age. At the age of three her father had introduced her to dance, and from then on she has been told what to do by other people, whether it is her parents or the film industry. She has since admitted’ I didn't like it very much, but I didn't have the courage to tell my father, so I began taking the lessons’. By the age of eight the family had moved to Hollywood, mainly to further establish her father’s dance studio. After a long childhood of dancing and being ruled by her father’s ambitions, she was allowed to break into acting. Her grace and beauty soon attracted Hollywood, but she soon had to change to fit in with the stereotypical Hollywood glamour, her appearance was crafted from her make up to her hair colour, this enhanced her career in terms of gaining more fame and wealth, yet surely being thrown into this entertainment world couldn’t be bringing her much happiness?
‘ I never really thought of myself as a sex goddess; I felt I was more a comedian who could dance’. Whether or not Rita admits it or not, there is no denying that she is an incredible star  of our time, her recent film ‘Gilda’ clearly proves her fantastic talent. I was able to speak to her briefly on the set of ‘Gilda’ and in person Rita was quiet and modest, only when the cameras started rolling did she turn on the explosive sexual charisma that was Gilda. But as Rita herself said ‘The fun of acting is to become someone else’ and that is exactly what happens when she is in front of the camera, she becomes Gilda.
Rita Hayworth’s passion was dance, much to her fathers influence, but her acting talents have taken over and she has become a sex symbol within the Hollywood industry. From starring in her first major film, ‘Only Angles Have Wings’ in 1939 which was her big break for her journey of many small film roles and to seek stardom. Each film had set her up for better roles, whilst she was on loan to Warner Bros she stared in ‘The Strawberry Blonde’ which was a huge success, this truly made her popularity rise. She then starred in Blood and Sand with the Fox Company, proving that she was wanted everywhere. She went back to Columbia Pictures afterwards and starred in a number of hugely successful films, including ‘You’ll never get rich’ opposite Fred Astaire and ‘Tales of Manhattan’. She really was a star in the making, but perhaps she was thrown into too much too soon, her marriage to Edward C Judson broke down in 1942, after just 5 years of marriage. She soon remarried to Orson Welles in 1943 and they are still happily married. Perhaps something that started Orson Welles attraction to Rita was the pictures she posed for, for Life Magazine, which showed her seductively perched on a bed in her negligee, making her a huge pin-up girl. Despite this sexualised appearance we all see and know her for Rita was sure to keep her dignity and respect for herself, ‘Everybody else does nude scenes, but I don't. I never made nude movies. I didn't have to do that. I danced. I was provocative, I guess, in some things. But I was not completely exposed’. In 1943 Rita’s strained relationship with Columbia Pictures came to light when Rita refused to star in ‘My Client Curley’, she was therefore suspended without pay for 9 weeks, as of course Rita was not allowed to choose what films she starred in as she was owned by the company. This raises the question, is this beautiful young woman being trapped and controlled by an industry in which there is no escape? But was this the chance she had been looking for, to show that courage, that she never felt comfortable doing in front of her father? To be able to reject something she did not want to do?
In 1944 Rita starred in musical ‘Covergirl’ with Gene Kelly, perhaps in this film Rita was more comfortable in what she knew and what she’d learnt from her previous films. Her amazing talent of dance shone through with outstanding and powerful dancing. However ironically her singing had to be dubbed in the musicals, yet this was not a problem to the success of the film. She continued to be a part of these Technicolor films with Columbia, including ‘Tonight and Every Night’ in 1945, in which she achieved more fantastic dancing scenes when she was pregnant with her child Rebecca. This proved to be very controversial with the Columbia Pictures bosses, as they suspended Rita when she ‘hit the maternity hospital’.
This brings us back to her huge success in her latest film ‘Gilda’, it is yet to be confirmed of how much profit this film has and will make, but with Rita’s wonderful talents shinning through onto the big screen, there is no doubt that this film will be popular. Director Charles Vidor and the Columbia Pictures industry both knew that Rita Hayworth would bring true attraction and entertainment to this film, secluded to be released on the 15th of March, but of course it will take time to see the true impact of this film on the film industry and Rita’s career. However whatever the success of this film, there is no denying that Rita has put her heart and soul into her career and she deserves to be applauded for her great achievements.    

Film Review: Changeling

A review of the film Changeling, submitted in the 2nd year of my degree of Film, Photography and Video.
Changeling Review, by Ann-Marie Essex
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 31st October 2008
Running Length: 141 minutes
MPAA Classification
:
R (some violent and disturbing content, and language)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Angelina Jolie (Christine Collins), Gattlin Griffith (Walter Collins), Michael Kelly (Detective Lester Ybarra), John Malkovich (Rev. Gustav Briegleb), Colm Feore (Chief James E. Davis), Devon Conti (Arthur Hutchins), Jeffery Donovan (Captain J.J. Jones),  Jason Butler Harner (Gordon Northcott), Amy Ryan (Carol Dexter), Eddie Alderson (Sanford Clark)
Director: Clint Eastwood
Producers: Clint Eastwood, Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Robert Lorenz, Tim Moore, Jim Whitaker
Screenplay:
J. Michael Straczynski
Cinematography: Tom Stern
Music: Clint Eastwood
U.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures
Production:
Imagine Entertainment, Malpaso Productions, Relativity Media
Changeling is the true life harrowing story of a woman’s desperate search for her son, battling against a corrupt police force. The story unfolds in Los Angeles in 1928 and costume, locations and props have been searched out in order to create a truly authentic piece, in this period drama mixed with a crime investigation with thriller like qualities. Clint Eastwood’s depiction of the true life story, uncovered by J. Michael Straczynski, is an emotional journey of a woman’s battle to be reunited with her son. Angelina Jolie (Salt, Lara Croft) offers an outstanding performance as Christine Collins throughout the series of heartbreaking events. This is far from Jolie’s typical roles of a heroic sex symbol, in modern Hollywood action films; instead she conveys a sense of grief, fear, desperation, sadness and determination that grips the audience.  Her flawless acting adds to the emotional turmoil that is displayed from the compelling story of a grief stricken mother, amongst Jolie’s incredible performance there is also beautifully acted scenes from John Malkovich (Burn After Reading, Beowulf), Jeffery Donovan (Come Early Morning, Hitch) and Michael Kelly (Dawn of the Dead, Tenderness), as well as the complete cast who give realistic performances that build emotion and show the story unfold.
The film begins in an idyllic family home with Christine (Jolie) and her son, Walter (Gattlin Griffith), where it is established it is a single parent and only child relationship which has a strong bond with Christine's maternal instinct. Christine leaves on an ordinary day, to her ordinary job as a phone operator and returns home to find her son missing, which follows with an extraordinary series of events. Contacts about the missing child are made, police are put on the case to find the boy, and Christine searches the neighbourhood, 5 months pass of waiting and sorrow and meanwhile we are shown a brief clip of a boy and man in a diner in Illinois, with this the police arrive with good news, the boy has been found. But this boy is not Christine Collins’ son. After Captain J.J Jones (Donovan) persuades Christine that her son could have changed after 5 months and she should take him home on a ‘trial’ period, she reluctantly agrees and even poses for the press to give the police force a positive media response. Her declaration that this is not her son continues and reaches the Revenant Gustav Briegleb (Malkovinch) who also runs a radio station, he comments on the police force about the investigation that ‘its status as the most violent, corrupt and incompetent police force this side of the rocky mountains’. Whilst it is clear that Christine is not going to accept this boy as her child and refuses to give up insisting on continuing the search, the police force do everything in their power to quiet her, in case of the problem being widely exposed and worse of all, believed, and therefore gaining negative media attention and the police force being shamed by a child abduction case. To reinforce the idea that the police force are correct a doctor is sent over to the home, the boys sudden shortened height is explained that trauma can affect growth and his circumcision simply because his abductor thought it was more hygienic. But the ‘new’ Walter (Devon Conti) has changed in more ways and Christine along with Rev. Gustav support show this, with school teachers and dentists reinforcing that in no way could this boy be Walter.
The film takes a much more sinister twist, Christine’s fight for her son is not what the police want in the public eye, but as she says to Revenant Gustav ‘I’m not on a mission, I just want my son home’. Yet her determination to fight the authority backfires on her, she is sectioned to a psychiatric ward where she is slandered as delusional and an unfit mother who does not want to take on board her own responsibilities. Scenes are shocking and show distressed women within their ‘cells’ the patients are routinely medically checked and taken away for electric shock treatment if their behaviour becomes ‘uncontrollable’. It is reinforced again that the police force are dishonest and irresponsible when we learn that the women in the hospital are only there because they refused to believe the police or questioned them and criticised them, telling the truth gets people into trouble with the police. And those who challenge the system don’t get the chance to tell their story. These scenes are detailed with long shots that create tension and the sinister idea of the police force, the clinical background of white and blues adds to the cold atmosphere in which the women have been forced into. Jolie has acted within the ‘mental institute’ setting before in the award winning film ‘Girl, interrupted’ released in 1999 and directed by James Mangold, Jolie gives a striking, moving and intriguing performance to the character of Lisa, perhaps  this is what gives her character in Changeling such realistic characteristics.
In an almost sub-plot, Detective Lester Ybarra, (Kelly), is put on a case involving a young boy living illegally on isolated farmland with his cousin. The ranch setting has elements of fear and a nervous atmosphere is formed, with axes and sharp weapons littering the location, giving a suspicious glance of what is occurring. It is not until this investigation is looked at deeper that the true horrors and violent crimes are linked to Christine Collins own problems. With Gordon Northcott (Jason Butler Harner) being key to these scenes, with distressing and shocking images and in some instances to graphic to be watchable. With a sceptical public and Rev. Gustav, alongside a lawyer, supporting Christine she is released from the hospital and takes the police force to court, exposing the truth and horrors of what she went through. With the refusal to surrender Christine continues to have set backs, but she never gives up hope in finding her son.
This is an R rated movie, however it has some truly horrific scenes within it, the thriller element of the film really comes into play just after half way through the emotional drama, yet throughout Jolie’s performance of Christine Collins is distressing and powerful, and therefore children, and even many adults may become upset by the images and sounds unfolding. Perhaps this film is only so disturbing and upsetting because it is based on real facts and events. In contrast to the ‘horrific’ scenes, the film is beautifully displayed; the set up on 1928 Los Angeles is incredible within itself. Having the cinematographer Tom Stern, who has worked on a total of 22 titles, many of these with Clint Eastwood, adds an exceptional touch the film, with the look of the film being highly important, as we jump through all of our emotions. Set, prop and costume departments have also done a fantastic job on this film, special effect teams and art departments have also helped fill in the gaps to create the 1920s and 1930s.Filming took place in San Dimas, San Bernadino, Pasadena and Lancaster, where locations hadn’t developed as much as Los Angeles. Deborah Hopper, the costume designer, adds huge attention to detail, with colour choice, fabrics and accessories. The choice of costume helps develop the character of Christine Collins, the vulnerable and delicate personality hiding behind a hat, to the strong feminine figure in red lipstick and a fur coat. The overall design team is a huge contributor to the success of this film.
If you are looking for a family film with a typical fairytale ending, this film is not for you, yet there is always hope. Nevertheless the provocative drama will continue to provoke emotions and surprise you again and again with its twists in the story and shocking truths about the LAPD in the 1920s and 1930s. We are left thinking of whom we should feel sympathy for and who really is a hero, this film conflicts with many traditional Hollywood films, yet this is because of the nature of the plot and what developed in reality. The film does not offer us complete resolution and leaves questions unanswered, instead it leaves its audience thinking, much the same as what happened in reality of this police case. However, although this film is based on a ‘true story’, it still allows for creativity, exaggeration and new ideas to evolve in order for the film to be entertaining, like any other Hollywood film. This is a completely unforgettable film, triggering every sense of emotion, with the story of a mother’s worse fear developing straight in front of her.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Turn up the volume

With the sun shining over the past few days and a hope to get a little less stressed after the last 2 weeks of panic of the degree, I've created a new playlist, 'chilled'. I love any music and will give anything a listen to at least once. The 'gym' playlist (85 songs in total) is full of Nicki Minaj, David Guetta and Pitbull, with a few songs by Swedish House Mafia ('Greyhound' is my ultimate motivation song), Sean Paul and LMFAO. The 'work' playlist, consists of 36 songs and got me through my degree, with the late nights, essay writing and research, it's full of motivational and inspiring tracks. Beyonce (my all time favourite female artist) makes quite a few apperances on this playlist and Florence and the Machine take up their few spaces on the list. Emile Sande, Rihanna, B.O.B, Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. and Redlight also have a track or two to keep me working hard. The 'everyday' playlist is for when I just can't decide how I feel so Kings of Leon, Maroon 5 ans Alexis Jordan all manage to suit how I feel at that time.


The 'chilled' playlist is different. It's full of slow, thoughtful songs with deep meanings and lyrics that set emotions running high. Simple tunes to suit a simple mood of relaxing and thinking. A couple of amazing artists I've very recently stumbled across are, Ryan Keen (one of the most beautiful voices and at the moment he's not getting the recognition he deserves. His song 'In my mind' brings me close to tears every time I listen to it) and Gabrielle Aplin (stunning voice, 'Home' is my favourite track by her). This playlist also consists of Twin Atlantic, Colbie Caillat, Coldplay, Michael Kiwanuka (I'm in love with his voice. Actual love.), Ben Howard, Guillemots, Jason Mraz, Ed Sheeran, 3 Doors Down, The Maccabees, Jack Johnson, The XX, Adele and finally Benjamin Francis Leftwich. This is a playlist suitable for heaven. It's full of beautiful songs, sung by beautiful people, with beautiful voices.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asdXpf0Ru-4&noredirect=1

(Ryan Keen 'In My Mind')


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pLsb1YMsKE

(Gabrielle Aplin 'Home')

A little less wisdom

Today was the day I have been dreading. I had 'minor surgery' on one wisdom tooth. For the past four mornings I have woken up between 5:30 and 6:30, which is unheard of for me..., I love sleep. It could be the beautiful sunshine flowing through my windows, or it's more likely to be the nerves and constant worry on my mind about the thought of having one of my teeth ripped out. I love sleep; I also very vainly love my teeth. They are naturally straight and white and I've never had a single problem with them, apart from this painful wisdom tooth that decided to grow out of the top of my gum. If anyone ever tells you that having a wisdom tooth out does not hurt (as I was told by a handful of people), they are lying. I have had injections in my toes and arms which did not hurt. I have numerous blood tests thanks to being anaemic and I've even had a tattoo on my wrist (a hummingbird if you are wondering), none of which hurt. Of course there is that unpleasant 'scratch' and it's not comfortable, but I find it quite fascinating and cannot bring my eyes away from watching. But injections in the mouth are on a whole other level. I had roughly 13 in total to get the right level of numbness. After the first 3 injections an attempt was made to pull the tooth out, it was in no way numb and I have never ever felt such unbearable pain. Torture. I thought I might pass out from the pain and the amount of agony was clearly reflected on my face as the assisting nurse grabbed hold of my hand, whilst the surgeon told me 'it's going to be ok sweetheart, I don't want to hurt you'. These two were lovely and I cannot thank them enough for how much they tried to relax me, with the standard small talk and the constant injections to make my mouth as numb as could be. Even though the antiseptic had the most disgusting taste, ever.

I'm now sat watching Michael McIntyre's comedy road show, taking paracetamol every 4 hours and treating myself to a galaxy milkshake. I'm in a lot of pain. But I'd love more than anything to be at the gym. Or at least sat in a pub garden drinking pimms and lemonade. The worse thing is I can't even drink a cup of tea to make me feel better. These are all ‘minor surgery’ restrictions, for a minimum of 24 hours. I'm feeling extremely sorry for myself right now if it wasn't already clear. But the milkshake is going down well and I can't really complain, I have a whole weekend of doing nothing but sitting in the sun. Beautiful.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

J'adore Paris


I went to Paris on the 26th April for 3 beautiful days with two of my favourite people, Laura & Sophie. I had the most amazing time and all I've wanted to do since I got home, was to just jump back on the eruostar and get back into the apartment that felt like home. I barely speak a word of French. In fact I speak no French. One French shop worker actually laughed at my attempt of 'merci'. We went on an open top boat trip in the freezing rain, which eventually became hail and this led to a thunderstorm. Myself, Laura and Sophie and two men with coats and umbrellas (clearly they watched a weather report and came prepared), were the only people left on the open part of the boat. We were determined to stick it out, we looked like drowned rats, but it was hilarious. We went to Montmartre, where we found the tourist shops and cocktails which were much needed. We also visited the Eiffel Tower (standard), which I thought was a telephone pylon from a distance! But that is all we did really in terms of tourism. We planned to go to galleries and the main attractions, but instead we ran out of time and our strict budgets didn't help the situation. But we had fun in our own way. We went to bars in the evening and met some of the best people (luckily they spoke fluent English). We travelled for what felt hours on the metro. We laughed, constantly. We found supermarkets with dirt cheap wine (it also tasted dirt cheap) and chocolate that was far too expensive. Paris was a place which I absolutely fell in love with. I will go back; it was too much fun not to visit again.


One guy we met gave us the best advice I've ever heard.


'It is always in interest to love'

This will stick with me forever; it means so much and has inspired me more than anything ever has.

Paris

Ebay: The site that sells everything


I set up my ebay account 2 months ago to sell the odd book, piece of clothing and shoes. It was an amazing way to get rid of my unwanted items and get some money out of it, without the hassle of a car boot. And the great thing is you can sell anything on ebay and people will pay pretty much anything! Today I’ve sold 3 items and I’ve manage to earn £25 from it. Not bad for a few hours sitting in the beautiful sun that has chosen to finally make an appearance. One lady sadly missed out on bidding on a top, but she messaged me and I’ve sold it to her anyway. Ebay is good like that, it may seem like a greedy selfish site where people are constantly outbidding one another to get their greedy mitts on something they want, but really it’s the perfect way to get a bargain. This lady wanted the top for a wedding she was going to, and who was I to deny this to her, just because she had missed her bidding time, which had been ongoing for 7 days. I could have relisted the item and maybe got more than the £5 for it, but I'm not one of those greedy selfish ebayers. It is more of getting rid of a mountain of stuff so I have money to start my life...

HOWEVER

Ebay sells everything. And everyone has a weakness. I sadly have a few: Shoes, Bags, Jewellery and ultimately anything that sparkles. But I have willpower and I've been able to resist the beautiful purple Christian Louboutins that would look perfect on my size 7's. I've even resisted the Jimmy Choos, the Fendi Selleria cream canvas and leather shopper and the countless number of Vivienne Westwood handbags that would be my shoulders new best friend. Yes I have willpower, but no amount of willpower could resist the Vivienne Westwood boots. They are pure perfection. Currently the bid is at £102, but with 1 day and 20 hours to go and already 6 bids from fellow ebayers I'm certain the bids will keep flowing and with this the price will rise. They are on my watch list and I will continue to watch every 15 minutes and I will be bidding in the final minutes. They are too good to miss out on... I have my fingers crossed that in a few days time these beauties will casually slip on my feet and stay there for all of time.


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Vivienne Westwood Boots 
(Whilst writing this I got an ebay message, a lady requesting how much I would accept for that top... Maybe I should of held out for a bit of extra cash, it could of gone towards the boots!)

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

It's all started

My journey started this year. This year, 2012, I decided what I want to do with my life. I've wanted every job in the world, from a vet to a fashion photographer. I studied my GCSE's with no idea what to do afterwards. I went on to study A-levels, with the certainty I would go on to study psychology at Bournemouth University. Mainly due to the reasons a) I enjoyed psychology and b) I thought at the age of 18 I needed to know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. But I really enjoyed media more than I thought, but I never really thought I could get a career in media. An impulsive decision at the last minute meant I was studying a film, photography and video degree in a college I had never been interested in. Psychology was something I enjoyed for 2 years, but after a lot of thinking, I couldn't see myself studying it for another 3 years. So here came the degree that I had no intention or outside interest in. I love films, I love films to entertain me, analysing them and discussing them is a whole different level. But somehow I enjoyed it. Me and video and photography sadly did not get along. Video was not for me, I could never understand the equipment. I think I would of loved photography if I was taught it, not left in a darkroom with a roll of film and told to get on with it. I find it interesting, but I could not keep up with set briefs or trying to explain my personal ideas. Photography cannot be wrong. Photography is personal, how can it be graded?!

Anyway I'm done. I got through the 3 years of the degree. I learnt a lot about myself and who I am and what I want to do. I also learnt a little about film, photography and video. And due to such a small class size, I also met five people that helped me get through it all.

So I'm waiting to graduate and I've sorted out a life plan. So, the journey has started to get me there. Might aswell give it a go...